Monday, May 28, 2012

Memorial Pay

This is Second Lieutenant Phil Dana





In 1944, on his 17th mission over Germany, the B-24 bomber he was piloting was shot down. After losing two engines and then fuel, the plane crash landed in England.  Phil's last act was to shut down electrical operations, thus preventing the bomber from explosion, and saving the lives of four of his comrades. 

Phil himself did not survive.  He was 26. 

These,



are Phil's great-great nieces and nephews, in 2012, in Northern Virginia.

They are too young to appreciate the impact of Phil's sacrifice, or the sacrifices of so many like him, but they do understand that he's our hero, and that it's our duty to honor him.

Today, honoring him meant flagging down cars in the blistering heat, and selling lemonade to benefit Wounded Warriors Project.


We really did witness the best of America today, seeing so many people stop to speak with our kids, contribute way more than the cost of a chocolate chip cookie, and wish one another a happy Memorial Day.  

When the last cupcake was gone, and the ice (and children) had melted in the heat, we totaled the donations.

Thanks to the efforts of our dear friends the Smoots, and the big hearts and open wallets of neighbors, friends and complete strangers, the kids raised





$579.75


(!)


 ❤



every penny of which will benefit injured service men and women.



Grateful today to be a mother, a great niece, and an American.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Musing on Motherhood

I am a hopeless list maker. To me, a to-do list is so much more than an agenda. It is the promise of a gloriously productive day, and a delicious feeling of accomplishment.

I started making to-do lists when I was twelve, jotting everything from homework to wardrobe plans into a spiral notebook that became the map around which I would navigate my day. Every night before bed the list was carefully reviewed, and accomplished items crossed off with dramatic flair, like a knight thrusting the final stab into a smoldering, defeated dragon.

Twenty years and an infinite number of spiral notebooks later I am still making to-lists, although recently they seem to have encountered an insurmountable problem.

The problem now with my to-do lists, is that I am a mother.

Every morning I wake to the sound of my alarm, the sight of a new list, and the motivation to tackle it.

Just as soon as I finish nursing the baby.

Once the baby is fed, I’m ready to go. Right after I pack the girls’ lunches, that is. And fix their hair. And walk them to the bus. I promise myself that I’ll start my list as soon as I get back from bus. And put away the breakfast dishes, of course. And sort the laundry. And comb the gum out of Cal’s hair. Then! Then I’ll be ready to go. Feed the baby again. And pick the playdough out of the carpet. And reattach Barbie’s head. After that, and grocery shopping, I’ll be so productive. Wow, is the bus back already? Let me just get Jolie’s homework started, then I’ll finally get myself started. Actually, I’ll get dinner started. And baths. And the bedtime routine…

I nurse the baby again, and collapse into bed myself. The day has ended, and my to-do list remains untouched. It is not the smoldering, defeated dragon I hoped it would be. Rather, it is still breathing its fire and I am the defeated knight, incapable of rising to the challenge.

Or am I.

I look again at my to-do list, and I imagine it years from now. It hasn’t changed, but everything around it has. There is far less laundry to be done, and no more messy piles of toys. Plastic dinosaurs no longer roam my couch, and my cell phone isn't hiding in a box of Goldfish crackers. Years from now, invitations to tea parties have ceased, and Eddie’s hungry cry has been replaced with quiet. Footed pajamas have been outgrown, bunk beds given away, and outside, the school bus passes without stopping.

Years from now there is no more “Mom, I’m hungry!” “Mom, this hurts!” “Mom, watch this!” “Look at me!” “Fix this!” “Play with me!” “Read to me!” “Change me!” “Carry me!” “Help me!”

“Mom, I love you.”

Motherhood is discovering that when I wake up tomorrow, my to-do list will still be there. But a day in the life of my children will be gone, and I will never get it back.

Margaret Thatcher once said, “Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it."

Today, I had everything to do.

And I did it.

Today, I was a mother.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

10 weeks


Who do you think you are


collecting your jar of hearts?

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Birth Story


A few friends have requested something called a “birth story.” I hope this is sufficient.

I found out I was pregnant last May, just before my 32nd birthday.  The first order of business, after buying Cal his obligatory “Big Brother” t-shirt, was finding an OBGYN willing to liberally prescribe Zofran for my nausea.  I struck gold when I found a doctor who not only fit the aforementioned bill, but had the added bonus of having been sued for malpractice in 2002.  The beauty of doctors who have been sued for malpractice is that their offices are not exactly booming with patients (in spite of being cleared on all counts, rest assured, maintaining his license and position on the hospital board, and being one of the most lovely people I have ever met). While expectant friends of mine were waiting up to an hour and half to be seen at the hot practices in town, I was greeted with open arms each visit, and literally never endured more than a 5 minute wait. 

At 8 months along I called the office and floated the idea of scheduling an induction, asking if he would consider “medically necessary” the fact I'm a born planner.  He readily agreed, and confided that he and his wife had actually been hoping to attend a medical conference in Florida on my due date.  We made a good team, me and Dr. T.

I texted Jack at work with the happy news that his second son would arrive one week early, on January 17th.  He responded that January 17th was the anniversary of when the Drudge Report broke the story of the Clinton Lewinsky affair, and that Jack’s birthday (August 17th) was the anniversary of when Clinton confessed.  What! Meant to be! Also, that the baby would be born on the same day as Michelle Obama.  Well then.

At 7:30 am on the First Lady’s 47th birthday, we checked into the hospital.  Eight hours later, after my easiest labor and delivery yet, baby was born at 8 pounds, 0 ounces, and I have no idea how many inches.  He was healthy, heavenly, and handsome like his dad.  

That evening Jack treated me to date night.  Chipotle in my recovery room, which we ate while he watched PTI, and I gazed at my new little bundle.   

After dinner he picked up the kids and brought them to meet their brother. It’s tradition in our family that babies come to earth bearing gifts for their new siblings. In addition to coloring books, crayons and playdough, this child arrived, per Jack’s request, with four Nerf N-Strike Nightfinder guns and a stockpile of ammunition.  I liked to think that during my hospital stay everyone was at home missing me sadly, but suspected otherwise when I arrived and found bright orange darts scattered through every corner of the house. 

Not that I myself had been suffering during my time away, thanks to the best hospital food in the United States.  Beyonce’s million dollar suite had nothing on my delectable six-page menu of whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it.  I took full advantage and came to know the food delivery staff well, including a talkative 19-year old girl named Lesbia. I don’t know if birth stories typically include the name of the person who brings your food, but in this instance I found it noteworthy.

Settling on a name for my own baby is a long story for another day, but suffice to say that the road to Eddie was a bit winding. In a few days however, when the vital records office receives our $10 check and minor child name change form, I’m hoping we can all look back on his identity crisis and have a good laugh.  His full name is Edson Jack Erb.  Depending on social circumstances, he will answer equally to Eddie (at school), EJ (giving people high fives), Edson (playing professional sports), Edson J. (serving as a General Authority) or Little E (riding his tricycle).

Friends and family have welcomed him with open arms, and spoiled him with love and gifts.  His favorite present arrived two days before he was born, when my sister Aileen delivered him a BYU roommate, Mack Bennett Bracken, seen here at 8 pounds, 8 ounces of cousin perfection.




We’ve been home from the hospital for a week now, just the six of us.  Both Jack’s parents and my mom visited around the holidays and spoiled us rotten, so we honorably excused them from grandparent duty and are flying solo. I’ve been enjoying a sleepy but blissful revolving door of nursing and naps. Jack, meanwhile, has repaired the furnace and the car, assembled a loft bed for Cal, done all the dishes and laundry, prepared the meals, run the errands, and volunteered in the classroom, breaking only long enough to play outside with the kids or to instigate their epic indoor Nerf battles. 

Every night when the house is finally quiet, we collapse on the couch, and count our blessings.

There are only two occasions in life – birth, and death, and I have experienced both in my family – when the world and everything in it respectfully turns around and takes a step back, leaving you alone in your little nest to hunker down and focus exclusively on what matters most.  Your family.

Our phone and doorbell haven’t rung.  Jack’s projects at work have been put on hold.  We’ve let emails go unanswered, homework be neglected, and dust settle where it may. 

For once I haven’t cared about the toys scattered all over the floor, the pile of mail stacked up on our desk, or the fact that showers have been few and far between.  For one peaceful week, I’ve been able to put all of that on hold, and focus exclusively on welcoming this little spirit to our family, wondering who he is, and appreciating the feeling that heaven is on earth, and in fact somewhere within the walls of this old brick house.

Tomorrow morning, life will resume. Our alarms will ring again after their two week hiatus.  Jack will board the 7:30 Metro and head back to work. I’ll return to the preschool carpool, cleaning the bathroom, monitoring math homework, and deciding what to make for dinner.  Gradually, the pace of life will pick back up normal, and the messes and piles of mail that annoyed me before will start to annoy me again.

Thank goodness we get to keep this little reminder of what matters most. 




Saturday, January 21, 2012

little e


We're a family of six. 


Eddie Jack
January 17
3:29 pm
8 lbs

A Brother Like No Other

(Written by my mother Susan Foutz, who would like to clarify that she actually has two brothers like no other ) If you lived in Arizona in t...