Friday, September 26, 2008

Lost in Translation

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After putting the girls down for a nap, I heard a banging on my back window. I looked through the blinds to find an old woman holding a 2-year old child, and opened the door.

She leaned into me and started talking, a bit frantically, pointing and waving her arms. Unforutnately, the only phrase I understood was "No English."

She kept talking, getting louder and louder, so I motioned for them to come inside. I offered her a pen and paper, hoping she could sketch what she needed, but she shoved them back and me with more "thrlbokthrlbokthrlbok....NO ENGLISH.... thrlbokthrlbokthrlbok....NO ENGLISH."

Now I'm starting to get nervous. Does she need medical attention?

After a few minutes, and against all odds, I'm able to determine that she speaks Farsi. So, I hold up my phone up and say, "I'll find Farsi. I'LL FIND FARSI." (like I know who the heck to call)

I tried a friend who wasn't home (she doesn't speak Farsi anyway), then our apartment management office.

"Housing"
"There's a woman in my apartment who needs some kind of help, and she only speaks Farsi. Do you know of anyone who lives here who speaks Farsi?"
"No."

At this point she's wandering around my place, motioning at things, and I'm close to tears.

Next, I tried praying for the gift of tounges.

Nothing.

After a few more minutes of failed attempts she concluded, I suppose, that I was hopeless, because she collected the 2-year old and left.

I'm now alone and feeling quite defeated, certain that someone is about die as a result of my ignorance.

Then, about 20 minutes later, another knock at the door.

She's back, this time accompanied by a child - about 10-years old - who speaks English. Oh, THANK HEAVENS. I almost throw my arms around the girl.

"This is my grandmother," she says,

And? And? AND...?

"And she wants to buy that princess notebook you had at your garage sale the other day."

?

??

???

????

?????

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Letter of the Law


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Several months ago our Jolie developed a sudden, inexplicable preference for the right, versus the left, side of things.

I say preference. I mean obsession.

She refuses to sit on the left side of the double stroller. She won't sleep on the left side of the bed. When she climbs into her carseat she has to be reassured that it's installed on the right side of the car (Yes Jolie, just like it was yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that).

At first this was cute. Then curious. Then it started to drive me crazy.

One day while trying to buckle the girls into their stroller I couldn't take it anymore. "Jolie, left OR right. Just SIT down. IT DOESN'T MATTER."

She climbed in with a quiet little "But Mom," answer...

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"We choose the right"

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Sigh

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Friday, September 12, 2008

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"Cooking is like love. It should
be entered into with abandon or
not at all."
Harriet Van Horne
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Friday, September 5, 2008

Glass Slipper

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I heard Leah crying,
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and found her like this
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She was sad because her shoes didn't fit.
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The problem is,
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She was trying to put on THESE shoes
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Like this
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Tuesday, September 2, 2008

To Each His Own

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"Seriously, I take a three minute shower. It's three minutes, or as short as possible...I even brush my teeth while I shower."
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- Jennifer Aniston, on doing her part to save the earth






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"Seriously, I take a 45 minute bath. It's 45 minutes, or as long as possible...My baths even require snacks, potty breaks, and the 'Repeat All' function on my CD player."
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- Jolie E, on doing her part to give her parents a little free time
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