Monday, August 31, 2009

Make a wish

In the year and a half that I've been blogging, I have managed to participate in almost all the popular blogging trends - I've hosted a giveaway, shared my favorite recipes, even responded to a tag or two.

That leaves just one thing on my list: Throw a spectacular birthday party for my children, then follow up with a post of enviable photographs and details.

Well our Leah turned 3 last week, thank
goodness. Now I can check this off my list.

Before the party began, we had to pick a theme. If I have learned one thing from talented bloggers, it’s that a party is not a party unless it has a theme.

After some careful thought, we selected, “We are in the process of moving.”
(Jack tried to call it, “Leah gets the shaft,” but I thought that sounded sort of

Because you will no doubt want to throw your own child a “We are in the process of moving” party, here are step by step instructions for pulling it off:

1. Invitations: Rather than constructing formal party invitations, try suddenly tossing down your packaging tape and saying, “Honey we have got to do something about Leah’s birthday. It is today.”

2. Guest List: Only immediate family members are invited to a “We are in the process of moving” party. The only friends I wanted to see last week were the ones capable of lifting our solid oak bedroom furniture (and who fully intended to do so).

3. Decorations: Carefully drape all scratchable surfaces in bubble wrap. Festive!

4. Seating arrangements: As guests arrive, they are invited to play a fun little game called, “Try to find a place to sit.” To make the game challenging (albeit slightly dangerous for children) cover the floor with various obstacles, such as cleaning supplies, industrial dollies, and miscellaneous furniture laying on its side.

Here, our guest of honor has taken her place beneath some collapsed cardboard boxes.

Which brings us to #5,

5. Dress: No hair bows or, for that matter, grooming of any kind is allowed at a “We are in the process of moving” party. In fact, if you look closely, you will notice that some of the children aren’t even wearing pants.

6. Cake: The cake was Jack’s responsibility. Ten minutes before the party began, he took Leah to Kmart (a natural place to go when you are in the market for pastries). The two of them came home with this:

Don't worry ladies. One paper plate, a little creative stacking, and a decorative candle later, and it looked super classy.

7. Party Favors
: At a “We are in the process of moving” party, children are given anything that will keep them quiet and out of your way. For big sister Jolie, this meant the bag of Rainbow Cotton Candy she has been requesting for two years. For two years I have politely declined (“No Jolie. That stuff gives me the creeps.”). But at a “We are in the process of moving” party, the answer changes to a celebratory, “Yes, yes. Anything that will keep you quiet and out of our way.”

8. Meal: Little Ceasar's large pepperoni, $5.00. Conveniently located inside KMart (Because Jack and Leah were already there, you know, picking out the cake.)

9. Serving Wear
: Children are welcome to eat from paper plates or, if they would prefer, straight off the floor.

10. Entertainment: Who needs a clown? Dad is soooo much fun after single handedly disassembling and transporting the storage shed and all its contents.

11. Gifts: “We are in the process of moving” gifts can be purchased at CVS Pharmacy, exactly 2 hours before the party begins.


One kickboard. Summer Clearance. $2.99

One Barbie toothbrush. Sale. $2.99. and,

One inflatable hedgehog punching ball. The hedgehog was filthy. If I had to venture a guess, I would say it had already been blown up by at least 7 little CVS customers. But. It was 60% off. (Normally I would hold out for 75%, but look how cute it is!)

Happy Birthday Leah! It’s all for you. It took an excessive amount of planning and effort, but it was worth it.

Also, so nice to pause from such a busy week and see the children truly enjoying themselves.


Katie and Jeff said...

I was laughing harder and harder as the pictures and descriptions went by. You are such a storyteller, and Leah is one of the luckiest 3 year olds ever!

James and Patrice said...

Two things:
1. I can understand why some of the kids weren't wearing pants, but what about Jack? It took a second look to confirm those were khaki shorts and not boxer-style "team-undies".

2. Easily one of the funniest things that Patrice and I have ever read. Swimboard: $2.99, Barbie toothbrush: $.99.. Inflatable punchball hedgehog: Priceless. (You might want to check the package on that though. Look for the sticker that says "Made with REAL Human skin!")

Flem said...

I am crying of laughter and missing you all at the same time.

Ohhh I hope Steve never sees this "theme" because it will become the new family standard.

Not that I don't like it, I just wonder if my kids will buy into it and all.

me said...

LOL. I love it. I have no such excuse for my lack of planning when it comes to b-day's.

Allison Hansen said...

I think I just wet my pants.

I admit, I have posted theme party pics! But I have never been tagged (that I'm aware of). Should I feel left out? And I've only refrained from hosting a giveaway until I come up with something worthy to give away. If only I had a kickboard to share with one of the average TWO commenters I usually get.

BTW I missed the memo on your new destination... Where are you headed?

Becky said...

You are so funny!! Love it! Happy Birthday Leah! So where the heck did you guys move? Are you going to keep teasing us, or did I miss it?

Rileigh said...

I wish that I had been there. It looked fabulous!

Lorie said...


I am SO MAD AT YOU! But not because of the party! I think the party was great. Because it is only 5:30 in the morning here and I just woke Ruby up because I was laughing out loud!

Heather said...

Oh Katie! You just described the birthday party Emily had when we were moving away from Goleta nearly 5 years ago!! To the tee! Seriously!! Doesn't it make you, as the mom, feel so proud?!?! I know it did for me! And Dad...well, let's just say it's a guy thing!

Jane said...

Katie, I have not laughed this hard a very long time. This may be my favorite post you have ever done. My day is off to a great start. I will be randomly laughing throughout the day thinking of this.

Susan said...

I haven't laughed this hard since......well, ever!!

Memzy said...

Flem is right to send me here. You are friggin heelarious!

Jeannie said...

Funniest post ever!

Oooh maybe we'll be able to pull off such a party since, by March 26th (Ren's b-day), we'll have to move out of this dump if the adoption is not finalized yet. Will I be so lucky??

Rileigh said...

I'm sorry I just read it again and cracked up all over agin. My abs hurt. Thanks.

Adria said...

i love it when you update your blog:) you either have me laughing or crying, usually laughing!

happy birthday to leah! she probably thought it was the best birthday party EVER!

good luck with the move!

thejerry said...

Wow, the party sounds like fun, and the post was amazing. I really liked the picture of "Dad the entertainer".

If you need any more help give me a call.

krissiecook said...

Here is why we all have to love/hate you. Love because you make us all feel better about the parties (or lack thereof) we manage to throw (or not) for our kids. Hate because we can't manage to make slacker parties come off so funny. It's just not fair.
Also, I checked our CVS this morning; no hedgehog. What gives? You would think Florida would be more likely to try and sell something so bizarre and creepy. I mean, people here use real (dead) alligators as fancy decor. Surely someone sees the allure of hedgehog mantle pieces.

D'Lonna said...

Seriously, that was so funny!! You are one creative lady!!

Leslie said...

I think that hedgehog punching doll is going to give me nightmares. Seriously. And to think, you bought that for a child.

Otherwise, love the post.

And, Lizzy, Doyle, Logan, and Andy said...

HAHAHAHAHAH! I cant stop laughing! That was so great! I loved it even more because today is Logans 3rd bday, I forgot until the bishop called to wish him a happy birthday this morning. Maybe kids should just start skipping their 3rd bdays.

Laura Stringham said...

and i bet she'll never know the difference. kids LIKE boxes and tape and apparently zebra cakes too.

and i'm on board with my sister about that hedgehog. it makes me wonder how many people had to approve that thing before it was actually manufactured. did it turn out the way they'd expected?

Jenny Coombs Bradford said...

“No Jolie. That stuff gives me the creeps.”

That statement is h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s.

You are an amazing story teller!

Aileen said...

It's 4 in the morning, so very bored and cannot sleep but now I can't stop laughing and reading this! Her auntie will give her the burlesque-themed party so befitting my little dita!

Dawn said...

YOU ARE HILARIOUS! That was my all time favorite blog post about a birthday party EVER!

I love how excited she is about the pizza, and the zebra wrappers in the background of the cake.

H.B.D. Leah! For one of the activities you could have taped each of them up in a box and have a race to see who can get out the fastest!

janelle said...

Seriously...this is my favorite post of ALL time!! I am laughing so hard right now and LOVING you completely!!

Good luck with the move!!

Allen and Amy Waples said...

Katie, I love you! That made me crack up, over and over!! Thank you for being SO REAL!!

me said...

seriously. i'm crying, i'm laughing so hard.

this will be one birthday she will always remember!

Julie Knowlton said...

Best birthday party ever? Yes.

That hedgehog punching bag may be the reason I don't sleep tonight. But I don't care. I loved this post.

Thomas said...

Probably the best post ever. Great stuff.

senategirl said...

*Gasp* Can't breathe...laughing so hard.

Matt & Lyndsi said...

you know it's a GREAT post when you have 31 comments!!! I have looked at this particular post 3 times never get's old and I LOVE IT!!!! Thanks for indulging me=)

dannyhaley said...

What a cute post! I love b-day parties like that. Your kids are so cute and growing so fast. Hope your move goes well, where are you moving? Take care.

Maryann said...

So, last night I do something I rarely do and make Matt read a blog post that I think is awesome. I pulled up this post because it is simply the greatest. I'm not sure he has ever laughed so hard in his life. I expected that, but for the next hour, I kept hearing giggles and belly laughs from the next room. Each time I poked my head in to see what he was laughing at, I saw him reading your entire blog. Past posts, everything. Loved it. You're the best!

Tanita said...

Seriously, you are hysterical. I would watch a tv show about you guys. thanks for letting us all participate in Leah's birthday!

the nayz said...

Jane-your sis-told me that I should read this. I was laughing through the whole post. Then, I saw the blown-up hedgehog, and I think I woke up my hubby, who is sleeping all the way upstairs, due to laughing so hard. He would love it if I did more of these kinds of parties.

Vaughn Family Chaos said...

I found your blog via your sister's blog via a BlogFrog community suggestion....whew that was a bit much.
I am still laughing from your post and if they're all this good, I'll definitely be back!!!

Humpty Dumpty

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